Growing up I was a skinny girl with a big nose and all of my friends called me Blossom after the hit TV show "Blossom". I am sure when they first gave me that nickname my feelings were hurt and I am sure that it gave me some type of complex but eventually I became okay with everybody calling me that....or did I?
Last week my brother told me that one of my classmate from middle school had asked how was Blossom and when I heard that name I chuckled to myself and thought back to those days. As my 36 year old self looks back on my 12 year-old self I can see when the insecurities started. As I got older I battled with different insecurities other than having a big nose.....rather it was I talked white or was to proper, I wasn't black enough, I wasn't pretty enough, my hair wasn't long enough, I wasn't skinny enough, my butt wasn't big enough, my breast wasn't big enough, I wasn't light enough, I wasn't smart enough, I wasn't rich enough.....you name it and I probably thought that I wasn't enough.
It took years for me to begin to like who A'Keta was as a matter of fact I am just learning to LOVE who GOD says I am. I mentioned on my Instagram and Facebook page how my recent trip to Dubai was life changing for me. I had never gone on vacation by myself before and when I decided to go to Dubai I called a few friends and invited them on a trip but no one could make the trip at that time so I decided to go alone. The closer and closer I got to the trip I felt like GOD wanted me to go by myself I am so glad that I was obedient. From the time I got off the plane it was like a peacefulness came over me. From the cab driver sharing her story with me on the way to the hotel, to my room being upgraded because I am a preferred guest member, to having a nice secluded breakfast in the guest lounge so I can read without the noise, and then my Internet didn't work that well in my room (which meant I could not call my family as often as I normally do). I knew it was all GOD!
Every day I woke up with a smile on my face as I pulled back the curtains and took in my view. I danced around and sang at the top of my lungs as I got dressed. I would spend part of my mornings at the beach or the pool trying to get a nice glowing tan. Not caring that I was getting darker but just enjoying the music I was listening to in my ear or the words that I was taking in from the book the five love languages( a book I have been trying to read forever but always allowed the business of the world to keep me from one of my favorite things to do).
During my four days in Dubai I went to a comedy show solo, I went to hear a friend of a friend sing Latin music and even got up and danced in front of everyone as if I was dancing in front of my mirror at home, and while at the spa one day I decided to cut all my hair off after I had made a decision to get extensions in my hair bc I half way wanted to protect my natural hair from the extreme heat of Kuwait and half way bc I wanted to have long straight hair for a while (something different). While sitting at the salon the thought of cutting my hair came so quickly and with such a strong sense of surety I never even thought about calling my sisters to get a confirmation (as I sometimes do).
When it was time to leave Dubai I felt like I had grown a few inches. The weight of the world no longer weighed me down and my spirit was so clear.....I had a little more pep in my step. Somewhere in those 4 days I feel in LOVE with not just myself but in LOVE with who GOD has called me to be.
I am different! I am not like everyone else! I AM who GOD has called me to be in this season of my life.
Even the wilderness and desert will be glad in those days.The wasteland will rejoice and blossom with spring crocuses. Yes, there will be an abundance of flowers and singing and joy! The deserts will become as green as the mountains of Lebanon,as lovely as Mount Carmel or the plain of Sharon.There the Lord will display his glory, the splendor of our God.Blessings