A week ago today I got on a plane and left the Middle East and the life I have known for the last 6 years. I was so busy packing and shipping my items home days before I left that I had very little time to sit and feel sad about my departure or scared about the next journey but when I got on the plane and got settled life seemed to sit still for a while and I suddenly missed everything about my life in the Middle East to include the people I have grown to love over the years.
When I landed back in the United States I was thankful for a safe journey but walking through the airport in Atlanta didn't excite me like my previous trips to the states and when I walked into my house it didn't seem to greet me with the same sense of peacefulness as it had so many times before. I am sure what use to excite me or bring me peace didn't now because I was mess and so unsure about things. I confessed to my cousin (who picked me up from the airport) that I was confident I heard the Holy Spirit tell me that I was going keep my job and stay in Kuwait until July and when that didn't happen I was confused. I have discerned the Holy Spirit's voice most of my life so for me now to be confused about what I had heard made me sad and to be honest down right sick.
I spent the weekend with family and friends not really wanting to deal with reality and kinda numb to my feelings. I no longer trusted the voices that where in my head or the voice of the Holy Spirit. I logged off social media and decided not to spend alot of time with my family or friends because I didn't like how I was feeling. I pushed myself into prayer and quiet time with GOD looking for a place where I had found comfort so many times before.
Throughout the week my emotions were all over the place and all I wanted to do was cry (if you know me you know I am like the biggest cry baby). Dealing with my emotions and the jet lag left me worn out and in the bed by 6pm most nights. On Friday morning after sleeping for 12hrs I looked in the mirror and told myself I had to GET MY LIFE! I started my day expecting things to me different and I knew I needed to sit still before GOD for that to happen.
After my prayer time that morning I sat in the presence of GOD and then I picked up the book "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho (I started the book the week before I left Kuwait but didn't finish it). As I started reading the book a peacefulness came over me and the Holy Spirit began to speak to me through every word. I was too on a journey to finding my Personal Legend and I knew that I had to trust that the Holy Spirit would guide me!
Finishing the book left me more in love with GOD than I was before. HE pushed passed the wall that I had up to show HIMSELF true to me when HE didn't have to. HE spoke to me in a way that I could receive HIM! That is LOVE and I am forever thankful!
I am still not sure why GOD brought me back to the United States but as I become more disciplined in my prayer life and study time I know HE will reveal it to me in HIS timing.
Thank you to everyone that poured into my spirit or prayed for me. I ask that you continue to keep me lifted up!
2 Chronicles 16:9 The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to HIM.