Last Monday when my boss called me into his office I knew that the conversation was not going to be good. My Spirit had been a little uneasy for about a week so I knew GOD was preparing me for something. As I walked in my boss' office he looked at me with a sad look on his face and said he had some bad news to tell me. As I sat down and prepared myself for the news he told me that my extension request had been denied and that I had to leave Kuwait by 17 January 2015 instead of 8 July 2015.
As tears rolled down my face I tried to gather my thoughts and make sense of what I heard. What do you mean my extension had been denied I work hard and give 100% to my job? As my boss explained my extension denial did not come from him but from my higher headquarters because someone forgot to process my paperwork and no one realized it until I came off the books on 15 December.
I sat in silence for at least 5 minutes just staring at the wall. I eventually got up and thanked my boss for informing me and walked out doing my best to hold it together. As soon as I got to my car I let it all out.....crying and screaming WHY.....why now. The first person I called was my mother and as I explained the situation to her in between the cries and sniffles she of course told me to calm down and then she asked me why was I crying ......do you not trust GOD? She suggested that I go home and turn on my favorite gospel song and just worship GOD and thank HIM in advance for what HE was going to do.
I want to be all the way transparent and say at that moment I didn't know what I trusted. All I knew was I was going to be without a job. I was mad, hurt, angry, confused and the last thing I wanted to do was go into worship. I eventually turned on Pandora and Shekinah Glory 'Yes' came on as I pushed myself into worship even though in the flesh that is the last thing I wanted to do but my Spirit knew that was the best thing I could do. I cried some more and prayed in the Spirit and when I was done GOD reminded me of Proverbs 3:5-6 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to HIM, and HE will make your paths straight.'
That night came with more cries and during my 2 am prayer I prayed for favor with my current job or that GOD would open doors as I look for a new job. Over the course of the week GOD reminded me why HE calls me HISBlessedOne and I am forever thankful for that because it brought me comfort.
I ask that when you go before GOD in prayer that you will say a pray for me that I will be obedient to whatever the will of GOD has for my life as I go into 2015!
God told me a while ago, I needed to share my story. I don’t know how I’m here now, other than God’s grace. When I divorced my 1st husband, I thought that was the worst thing to ever happen to me. When I was eight months pregnant, a woman called to tell me she’d been having an affair with my husband since the beginning of our marriage. I was devastated, but I overcame. I prayed for the love I felt I needed and deserved.
Three years ago, I was engaged to the most amazing man. Our relationship was like something I'd never experienced or seen. Justin was my best friend. We didn’t grow up together or know each other for years prior. I met him on a Sunday at work and by the end of that week I told him he would be my best friend. Without going too much into detail, just imagine a "perfect" relationship. I was going to be this man’s wife. My prayer for the perfect husband was about to come true.
June 12, 2011 a co-worker asked me if I was afraid of death. My response was no, I'm afraid of losing my loved ones. The next day, I found out Justin had been killed. The day Justin died, I died. Love had died. Love had left me and didn’t even say good bye. Love told me to call him on my lunch break and when I called he didn’t answer the phone. Love was killed by a drunk driver late one night on the other side of town. I lost my mind, I lost control of my finances, and I almost emotionally lost my children. For months I waited on death to return for me. I was literally in my bed waiting to die. It took my friend to tell me it would be a shame for my boys to lose two parents, instead of one.
I believe everything I’ve gone through has been for this moment. I’m excited about my outcome because the preparation for my journey has been intense. Each and every man in my life has played an important part in me learning how to love.
God's love and grace brought me back. God heard my cry, and brought Kirk into my life. I opened my heart to a man that was willing to accept me, my flaws and all. God gave me love again. This September we’ll be celebrating our 1st anniversary.
MY STRUGGLES AND MY SACRIFICES WERE ALL TO GLORIFY GOD. I GIVE GOD ALL THE GLORY. BECAUSE OF HIM, I SMILE. HE DID IT. THROUGH ME, HE HAS SHOWN HE’S REAL, HE CARES, HE LOVES YOU, AND HE LOVES ME. THE WORST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN IS HIM LEAVING YOU AND NO LONGER LOVING YOU AND I’M HERE TO SAY THAT’S JUST NOT POSSIBLE.